This was when I had to learn to walk again. My balance was shot. I was all over the place, like a 6ft drunk, but without the 'fun'. I had to rebuild muscles I'd lost, fight the pain of amputation and stay upright as well.
I won't deny or try to make it sound easy. It wasn't, it was frustrating. It was physically flaming hard, but emotionally it was so so difficult. I had days of feeling very low; I don't know why, I had no reason. I was alive.
But I felt alone. Hard when I'd never been physically alone for all that time in Comaland! I'd learnt my wonderful wife stayed in hospital with me for 15 days solid, talking to me, playing music to me, not giving up. Until she was so tired, she became ill and was sent home.
But my 'alone' was me, I could not comprehend what hell my wife had gone through, watching me lying there with so much going on, being told I wasn't going to make it.
I couldn't truly feel her emotions but I could understand. I'd been a police officer for 20 years, I'd seen the human race at its worst. Murder, suicide, terrible road accidents; I'd been there with people - and their loved ones - who were deceased or dying. I knew death, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
My alone was inside me! The lost time which won't come back, the pain, the emotions of how I felt, how it had changed my whole life. The fact that walking hurts, my head hurts, the frustration of memory problems. The fact that what I used to say in five minutes now takes me four times as long due to pain, discomfort, weariness and stability.
My wife has given me her love so unconditionally, without thought for herself or how much pressure my illness and its affects had put on her both physically and mentally.
No matter how hard you try it is very hard to fully explain emotions. We tried our best but there were still things that each of us truly couldn't honestly understand.
In view of this I contacted Tina at the Foundation. She listened to how I felt and could understand my feelings. She put me into their befriending scheme, to talk to someone who had been through what I had and could truly understand.