A neurosurgeon (seriously, probably one of the smartest people EVER) talked to us and explained to us our “options”. We could put her through some major surgeries and see if we could maybe get her to maintain her breathing on her own. He didn’t have high hopes though. She would never talk or smile or do anything other be in pain. He was very sure she wasn’t conscious even or aware of anything. The other option which turned out to be the hardest decision my husband and I will ever make in our lifetime, was to take the life support out and make her comfortable for the end of her life. They called it end of life care, I heard them, and I understood but it was all unreal. I felt like I was looking into my life from outside of it and it was some horrible nightmare.
That Friday, we decided to take Mellodi May march off the life support on Monday, two days after she was 7 months old. It was the worst decision we ever could have made for ourselves but the best for her. She fought so hard and her little body did the very best it could to fight off the bacteria. In the beginning I had said Mellie would tell us when she was done fighting and I knew she was done. She was ready, she deserved to be peaceful in heaven.
Taking your child off life support is not something you can prepare for. But I walked into it without a clue, I’m not going to type out that experience. I do however suggest if you are in those shoes, talk to someone who has experienced it. Not a medical professional, not the church people, but a family member who has held their loved one during their last moments. It will still never be something you can prepare for or be ready to do. I can’t even say that talking to someone so you know the things to expect will be helpful, I just know I will do anything to ease that pain for someone else. I would take it away for strangers, it's unbearable and the most unfortunate situation one can find themself in. I pray if you are in the shoes I found myself in a few months ago, I pray that your situation turns out different. I pray for every parent losing a child or who has lost a child.
I still hurt every day; I miss her every second of every single day. I am writing this and starting this page because then Mellie is still doing something positive, she is helping me help someone else. She is helping me inform parents. And show how awful meningitis is and the lifelong effects it has on a family. It helps me feel like she will never be forgotten, she may have been 7 months old, but she left a lasting imprint on so many people. She helped me get to this point in my life and none of it will be purposeless. She made a difference.
Mommy loves you Mellodi May March; Until we meet again baby girl.